Subtleties
The Special Relativity of Pheeling Bodies
Neither my first kiss nor my first sexual partner knew they were so, both were older, the latter significantly. Neither asked and I too insecure about my inexperience, to mentioned it. For the first encounter, I was a high school freshman cornered in a store elevator, on my first date. The latter as a senior, with an authority figure in his apartment the last day of school. A few years later, during ‘breakup sex’ something only previously known through fiction, my first long term boyfriend finished without warning at the end of a relationship where ‘pulling out’ had been the method of contraception.
In each experience, I could sense the sensations and feelings of the other person were more important to them, than any I might have had, my feelings were to be my own concern. For me that was very status quo. Large unconscious drives behave that way. An energy known all this life. Raised in a house run by similar unconscious behavior, such being acceptable was a standard way of survival for child me. Likely why I was even in each situation. Mirrored rationalizing of my upbringing. Of the upbringing that produced that upbringing, and, and, and. The attraction and attracting those with these energies a known barometer of ‘safety’. As though someone with such influences would know what safe was.
The concept of safety, a foundational matrix of psychological constructs. Those frameworks we erect to navigate ourselves, the world and each other. Safety is that which allows us to function outside of freeze, flight, fawn, or fight. Sometimes it is what has us function in them. Ideally it is the opposite of fear. Yet what each of us require to establish such a feeling, at present varies, wildly. Daily in some instances. Moment to moment in others. Each version built on a cacophony of factors, with even more variety in the amount with which we are conscious of the behaviors we use to achieve it. To feel seen, heard, felt, touched; noticed. Or avoid such.
I sense many people likely recount awkward, oddly consented to encounters of the first type of ‘firsts’. Perhaps more appropriate-awkwardly communicated types of the second. And hopefully ever-less betrayals of the latter, from either sex. Never having been risk averse nor overly cautious, accounts for the scope of the above, though in even more mundane interactions than we realize, are we each navigating the blurry lines within consent of all types of contact? Physical, mentally or emotionally.
Kissing, petting, hugging, handholding, nuzzling, cuddling, pushing, punching, nudging, bumping, crowding and more, all physical contact of arousal. Positive to negative. That spectrum different for every being. A spectrum educated by social spheres. Social spheres operating around group think or punitive, punishing principles. Still, though research shows these methods consistently outperformed by more thoughtful approaches in experience and research.
For all newborn’s, the first bodily experience is being brought into the stimulus of the world engulfed with sensation. After nine months of the replicaiton sense animating itself out of an ooie gooie embryonic sac. Could any sense of prior spiritual consent, as is believed in some traditions, be back by research every birth often registered by both nervous systems involved, as a trauma.
Only much later through trial and error in the forming of an ego, do bodies begin to hone where limits lie. Theirs and others. Where they are allowed or acceptable to be. The consequences for straying from those ranges. The ways to communicate them to others. Any ways to stretch them. Whether through siblings or schools, or social ostracism the limits of ourselves and others are haphazardly navigated, and learned young. They changed position depending on one’s position on the planet. Or in an hierarchy. Usually for reason of necessity from bygone eras. Most rooted in partial understanding or a lack of it all together.
Worse, there exist these varied spectrums for all other senses. Seeing, hearing, smelling, which can also mean taste, these ranges also form during development. Without examination, awareness, or more blatant traumas; our patterns of acceptance, toleration and consent rarely get updated. We accept many sights and sounds and scents, and physicalities that do us more harm than good. Many times helpless to stop them.
Worse than that, sense itself a spectrum, from the enthusiastic yes to the unequivocal no. Defined as an agreement or permission; etymologically, consent means to feel together. We can feel together informed and uninformed. To inform requires forms of communication. Though understanding through multiple senses most complete. Misinformed or disinformed or malinformed feeling together, in someways a loss or theft. As are ambiguous partial types of feeling together. And those do-nothing-to-oppose consents. Or Unconscious consents.
Being an only child my lessons of feeling together came primarily from toxic behaviors in my familial home. Full of repression, projection, and maladaptive choices. When social parameters or norms outside that home dictated the ways to gain permission or agreement in feelings, I often found in my personal experience that alternative forms existed. Subtle distinctions. In some ways to my benefit and others to my detriment. Sometimes both. Lacks in the diminutive behaviors or peer pressure, neuro-divergence, and toxicity make for exceedingly awkward sets of social parameters, I effort to heal every day.
Since my primary male relationship as a child was fraught with rage and manipulation, of which my mother withstood and to a degree participated in: I had very little chance to find the social interactions, male/female (sexual or otherwise) I had considered worth seeking. A healthier, ideal, even idolized end of those spectrums. Although I masked for most of my youth, something girls more readily do, same-sex relationships also eventually suffered. A trauma barrier erected between myself and others. Sensing always the distance others often keep from themselves.
Subjugated to another’s feelings while mitigating, monitoring, masking ones own, was the first example of love I was shown. An imbalanced consent that is an instinct of survival rather than of choice. It’s coping. In some ways the same experience newborns ask of their care givers. Most relationships outside the home followed this pattern. Someone bolder, cooler, older, colder. Some where I could sense the other sensed my awkward-at-a-distance-ness. Or those who could use my agreeable qualities and reject the disagreeable ones, while remaining non-communicative or committal during interaction. Friendship and the hangout scene, became for me, a family you could chose. Similar toxicity patterns with even less guarantee they would or could chose you in return. Far from the healthy loving pairing of choice I have been seeking in my intimate life, all my life. With another human person. Something I wonder about ever being healed from.
Especially with the penultimate perspectives I hold of lovers. The types myths of romance are built upon. An undying monogamous passion, which rather than merely survives all meant to destroy it, possess just foresight to better navigate the drama of our fictions. Though I have been told many times this fantasy, my unpopular sense is, this desired awareness , in many ways likely pure. For while alternative relationship orientations exists throughout the planet, few equate to such a paring.
The etymologically roots of fantasy, stem from the Greek, phantos, meaning visible, from phos meaning light. All rooted in the Greek phi, the 21st letter of that alphabet signifying essentially, wisdom. Ph- our first breathy phonation of it. It’s symbol Φ also used to represent The Golden Ratio, or the 1,1,2,3,5,8,13… spiral building pattern used throughout the cosmos. The symmetry behind beauty, balance and proportion from faces to flowers to galaxies.
With many species once believed to be monogamous, more recent research shows those to be social bonds that will in fact mate or copulate elsewhere. Adding to a sense that encompassed Free Will, essentially self consent, equally about choices to cease in many instances. For stopping is doing something also. Mastery of sexual arousal a goal of the wise across millennia, but to hone it for a single individual maybe the pinnacle of choices any member of a species could make. A (Ph)antasy attempting to be seen.
A fantasy distinguish from fantasizing. As that rarely something done together, fantasizing of a specific person is likely a transgression of consent. Something shoddily navigated in social or public spaces, and throughout the para-social sphere of celebrity. When feeling together does exist for our fantasies though, there is resonance. Mirrored frequency manifest. Where Relativity happens between all things, maneuvering those relations is a journey of resonation. Greater than an echo, resonance is when two things in similar frequency ranges, near equal and amplify one another. Something neither could do alone. The universe and all that within it are a process of understanding this occurrence.
Human relations happen in grand varieties but healthy, healing intimacy, supportive friendship, and fulfilling sexuality, desired and obtained inside a single bond, rarely. Our fictional fixation with the drama of obstacles to such a love, likely an unconscious urge for our better navigating its physical expression. For better navigating all relationship. Fixatcion, the root of fixation; an alchemical word indicating the reduction of volatility. To fixate was to stabilize a substance. By the late 1800’s it had taken the meaning of gaze upon, and today is a synonym with fetish, indicting an obsessive interest. The discordant senseless dialogs and processes around social injustices, perhaps bore of an unconscious urge for that alchemical process. Within the psyche.
For sexual fetish, medically known as paraphilia, usually no arousal can be produced without the fixation of choice. Other fixation and fetishes though, happen in all of us. All the time. Fixations tend to be areas of focus where fetishes more like focus’ of pleasure. These works for me are a fixation. Or the topics within them. For others it may be the latest this or a ruminating that. A favorite food or hobby. Something that our bodies or minds repetitively submit to.
Unconscious’ too have their fixations and fetishes. Collectives also. In fact more of our obsessive drives function largely unconsciously. Even when conscious they likely have unknown motivations or origins. At the center of most unconscious fixation however, is the ever indefinite ‘safety’. The reasons why our social spheres fixate and our sexual behaviors fetishize, are fundamentally about that also. Reflexive instincts, the unconscious uses as tools to approach meeting its needs. Most instinctual behaviors used this way.
Reproductive sex and selection and the gendered behaviors within it, the dominate reproductive strategy in the natural world. The ipso de facto route to propagation. Outside the division of mitochondrial duplication reproduction is a process towards diverse duplication. How matter does this, the study of our biological and natural sciences. Why? A question for us all.
Phosphorus, a word meaning light bringing, when sensed in single cells activates the prompts for their division. Multi-cellular reproduction is also intensely sense based, often revolved around sight, smell, touch, hearing. Taste in some instances. Our feelings about what is sensed, chooses essentially. Attraction and sensation are intrinsically linked. Stimulation and arousal a constantly viable interaction. Perhaps THE constantly viable interaction.
Senses are vessels of information exchange. All feelings, including intuition carry information. In fact, thoughts also a sense. Fleeting messages, prone to change. The nervous system measures sense instantaneously by points of contact and pressure, also known as intensity. Where light’s photon is the fastest weightless bit of matter, perhaps that which senses or feels, a undiscovered phelton (☉)—light’s ever faster innumerable, immeasurable counterpart. Accounting for the observer in uncertainty, quarks and gravity, and the speed of entanglement. The thing which detects and determines the overall chirality seen in numerical theorizing and experimental research. Also perhaps, the substance of the anti- or dark elements of existence. The draw of bonds in all elements. That which senses as all space and time.
☉ ≈ Φ tP^ Φ ?
Could you conceive all the cosmos as intrinsically a (Ph)eeling body? Ourselves included, fractals of the stuff, each displaying our own handedness. Light included. All experiences and metrics a sense, of and by the universe. Everything, a sense of the sense of that which senses? Happening at and inside inconceivably minute measures of itself. Subtle distinctions that bridge what was, is and will be. Arousal linking to stimulus. All but inseparable. Other than by behavior.
The way the universe behaves, from spin to spinsters, to the psyche in us, the cosmos dealing with stimulus; with what it senses. With itself. Why we study it. Distinguish it. Learn about it. Light and enlighten it. How we get a sense of it and ourselves. How we understand its self propulsion—the moving toward, and repulsion—the moving away. That the substances of sense quite possibly the mechanisms that do so.
In this way, the behavior of sexual selection for duplication, a product of pleased senses. A propulsion by choice, toward such. The same way those senses would engage a meal with the edible and reject the inedible. Pleasing and being pleasured sensually likely an archetypal cosmic state. Choosing a mate based off pleased senses drives duplication diversity. Many animals though have been found to participate in sexual activity for pleasure sans reproduction. That a process of diversifying pleasure. Reproduction organs relevant as pleasure sensing organs. The way tastebuds, skin dermis, olfactory receptors and eardrums also are. To what aim and ends their use? Another question for us all.
The study of Physic a search for the smallest bits of the universe. Starting with matter and now data, and soon energy. At which point the distinctions meld, and were everything to be from a single source, a tis: subtlety as mechanism, likely the sense of an expanding, evolving understanding of stirrings within change. Change is also more tis anew. Novelty.
Terrence McKenna saw Novelty as the universe’s speed of change over time. Newness measured in time. But the ability to make a distinction of the new, created or sensed, likely beyond our conceivable measures. A sensation unconstrained by time, continually present as a potential. Change likely start before we choose them. The many maybes collapse in to a actuality. In our daily existence, this potential without a honed discernment or a sense of the ability to rest and have restraint, appears as ever familiar reaction to whatever is sensed. The reactions inside stars the most powerful of all.
For all animals, human included, novelty enough to deal with. Ecology’s slow invasive change, or they cease to be. Faced with arousal both positive and negative, individuals produce chosen adaptation to behavior in the form of coping (the fear responses), creativity, seeking or avoiding depending on stimulus and the individuals preferences and capacity. All animals strive to know these ranges within their environments. For most it is a daily task. The developed world problem is many of theses on auto pilot.
All animals too will take these to extreme extents. Perverse there interactions with stimulas: for a variety of reasons depending on a collection of needs and prior experiences. Perversions are an alteration of something from its original course, meaning, or state, to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended. Again, many of us know perversions as tied to sexual behavior. But perversions happen much more frequently in everyday life. Outside of necessity—perversions can be anywhere.
Perversion is a change, often to a decayed degree, but some distortions can be helpful. Life hacks and guitar solo both positive examples. We perverse relationship with sensation to meet a need otherwise being ignored. Thus our potential for perversion everywhere. Acknowledging such, required to better understand why we perverse. For a cosmos that still contains and may always contain an unconscious, the likelihood that something which can sense of pleasure, also containing harm for ourselves or others exists in any arguments of good or bad.
For instance consumption is necessary to the pursuit of existence. Stars consume hydrogen. Black holes consume matter, vacuums consume both noise and silence. Predators prey, minds stimulus, block chains electricity, algorithms data. Fueling and sustaining life are the results of consuming. The unconscious behaviors and limits of what is fueling, fulfilling, satisfying, sustaining and sustainable, vary, wildly. With every individual and across environments. Boundaries of our beings we’ve little idea how to cooperatively manage any conflicts between.
Consumption has though altered its course in human history. From nomad societies which carried the necessities with them to hunter gatherer societies, which base camped and shared resources to hierarchical societies where the hierarchies a measure of exchange of liquid asset. Greed of few, cost of many. Past that free markets and central banks which raise cost and reduce wealth at whim, for which always the consumer pays.
Our ability to perverse is without match. Collectivelly and individually. Social, cultural, political and economic cybernetics largely outweigh individual conscious energy leaving individual sub and unconscious’ vulnerable to that weight. Add to that, our receptors of information clogged with poor food, water supplies, entertainment, and alternate options, many of the subsurface ideas and ideals within human pleasure diversification are a seething brewing unconscious relationship around violence. The focused eye of unconscious on cosmic volatility within us, others, and the search for a fixatcion for it.
Raging a necessary component of existence. Inside fire and those fusion stars. Without obvious acknowledgement in any human psyche, it becomes rage. A teeming, churning, compulsive, explosive pit of aggressive behaviors from active to passive, socially accepted and reprehensible. Blatant and gaslit. Legal or against the law. All degrees of violence; that which is damaging or adversely affects, potentially exist in humans. Sarcasm to slaughterhouses to the sadistic. We are the planets biggest threat.
Life is an economy of trades offs. With any degree of violence, the benefits rarely outweighs the costs. The hunt or fight equally exhausting. With some violences they never do. With information ever more easily exchanged, tolerating the existence of damaging or adverse affects, has become maladaptive. That maladaption perversed by those with authority to preserve their authority. Tolerating harsh does little to reduce or better direct it. Punishing it either. Understanding it the only way that does.
It’s little wonder we hypothesize evolved societies, as those that can harness the power of their star. How would you, as all of existence, handle realizing that the most life sustaining of your creations are infernos of combusting bonds? Perhaps we see the cosmos moving away from its self uniformly, because so few civilizations ever do manage to. Perhaps because so few individuals ever do.
Between unacknowledged violence, the dulled mechanisms of sense, chemical influences to our hormonal systems and the world’s ‘free’ markets, human consumption of natural resources has been a rapid decent into perversion. Unconscious strivings, subconsciously enacted by believed-to-be-conscious reasoning. Often driven by motivators externally choosen. Brought to collect awareness, from subset groups of elite choices, in fads, trends, movements, audience request or capture. Because we are being subjected and subjugated to the perversions of others at scale, we must recognize them in ourselves, in order to more properly choose which thrive and which we can do without. By awareness rather than unconscious.
The most prolific of these institutional narrative perversions is obviously, that of the voyeur. These places of social gather, born out of television replacing radio, which have become our daily visited norm, accentuate as acceptable, indeed encouraged us, to watch. To the benefit of the watched. Stuff or bodies or actions, opinions, animals. Thoughts. Dramas, dangers. A constant pressure on the brain’s weighty visual system. Keeping arousal centers highjack at that level.
Throughout history however, it is the watcher who has benefited. Where there is openness to it, we learn much more through watching each other than we grasp. Watching is the ancient, anscetrial core of learning. Throughout all lineages. Entertainment the adaptation. Industrialized as a tool for the oxymoron of solitary social interactions? Consciously can be put to great use for growth. As is? Driven to have us consume more our perversion of consumption. Or worse.
These voyeuristic spaces have immense ability to access and affect large swaths of human energy but that energy contains little clear awareness of the processes used to procure anything from it. Leaving us susceptible to political theories we’ve never heard of and nudging we barely notice. Behavioral science evermore applied to policy, a Bernase-esque use of scientific knowledge for small group gain. Kayfabeian covers for elite perversions. The eyes wide shut, transsexual prostitute, human trafficking, war mongering, child molestation kinds. Those which reduce human populations, souls and bodies to objectified portions, often pitted against one another and themselves.
Often we’re shown battles between good and evil, wars on this or wars with that. Yet the contrast that truly exists past the cyclicality of light and dark, is pain and pleasure. The visual system for most animals reliant on the first contrast. Some species even see by the light of heat. Beyond that our sight is just another sense orienting us in space. From this orientation then seeking or avoiding. How we manage good and evil is by better homogenizing the pains we will withstand and those we will have no more of, from ourselves or others. In doing so room created for better managing all our varieties of pleasure.
I’ve always found it strange that the types of females males date in a recreational way and the type they form long term bonds can be differ. And again different than those they have even short term sexual encounters with. As though any will do as long as the other has places for a penis. Some individuals are fine to put some other parts of self but discernment really shows up for the male human, only in significant term relationships.
This reduction of entire beings to bodily segments, whether in attraction or sexual exchange, i.e.prostitution to dating apps makes me ask, Outside of surviving the species, has no male every contemplated the arousal of his genitalia as a longing for a place to put himself? His whole self? As many men do in the search for a long term partner? Do woman have the discernment to only allow themself to be that? Can arousal be overcome to produce better our ability to form intimacies? To better choose our pathways of duplication?
Unrequited or partially-requited heartbreak, short term sexual gratifications, easy access, all more unacknowledged violences. Allowed in the social processes of how we share our spaces and sensations. Of how we navigate the subtitles of (Ph)eeling bodies. Instead constantly fighting through increased dualistic and juxtapose positions. To elicit more outrage and contrast, driving audience capture and market share, but solving how we interact and relate very little. Courtship into another project of data collection. A swipe competition vs cooperation.
As with fore-footed animals, human sense, our selections and sexual energy are intrinsically connected for that duplication process. How is this chosen? Feeling together or driven by the pathways of a reproduction instinct dutifully satisfied? Furthermore, because of many of the same social, cultural, political economic and military systems above these energies mostly intertwined with only the sub and unconscious. At both individual and collective scales. Meaning the choice mechanism by which we diversify our duplication consciously subsurface, at best. Same for our diversified pleasures.
The neural pathways of violence, arousal (sexual and otherwise) and sense are ancient. Critical points of creation to uncontrolled pools of spite, fright and fury. The unacknowledged violence in our collective often appears across a range of expressions considered pleasurable; from action movies to video games, MMA to monster trucks to pornography. Sight and violence heavily intertwined but many things exhausts stimulation that affect all our senses. Solving those issues, frees up our sense to solve others.
The violence we enact is ultimately that we fear. Some portion of a violence in us enough to cause a Big Beginning. Big enough to be measurable even today. Billions of years of expanding away from such a violence. A fear with no understanding; that first sensation an explosive start. (Ph)elt from both ends. For humans the fears driving these issues of violence and stimulation and sense, revolve around personal cessation, ego or bodily. The feared end of sensation.
This even cause for our perversion of consumption. Many times our public perversions are to subvert meaning avoidance of understanding. As long as we’re eating, spending, getting, we must be alive. When in reality, the thing that consumes has still to die. The thing that is consumed lives. Where the thing consumed has already faced death and lives on as the energy of the other: for the thing consuming, death awaits. Unconsciously this worry exists as a collective repression, finding any way it can to express.
These cyclic realizations can be seen tip-toeing toward consciousness and healing in oral and anal pleasures. Oral cavity’s can bring pleasure as intake of food, or pain as with vomiting or biting your tongue. Anal orifices, expel waste or experience hemorrhage. Some though find pooping pleasurable and when genital orifices inserted in those places, there ability to produce pleasure increases, for another. And self in some instances. Sphincters touching. Looping tubes. Outs in ins, and ins in outs. Fractal of the pleasures at play for a Kline bottle. We toy with these deeper realization in different ways across all sexual expressions.
In a cosmos seeking novelty through duplication, curiosity an intrinsic adaptation but creation without limit cancerous and often perverse. Some might say violence and paraphilia forms because of limit, but resistance to restriction usually the cause of those issues. Where limits delineate, restriction constricts. A part of a top down pressure process. Delving into the domination, submission aspects of violence.
Wild, pitted-against-the-elements animals rely on the speed of their senses for most of their survival. As intelligent empathy heightens, senses, reactions and consenting to behaviors related to them, become an ever more nuanced endeavor of subtleties. We’ve all seen predator and prey co-exsisting where survival needs are otherwise met. Behavioral instinct changes depending on other senses, which include our thoughts and feelings. The how’s, why’s and for what’s of honing our sense into matter, matter.
Honed senses in humans, for most, a thing hardly attended to. Thanks to hyper-novelty, many environments are as overstimulated as they have ever been. Causing repression in neuro-typical brains. Meltdowns in the neuro-divergent. In either case is it entirely the individuals responsibility to do something about. Production of stimulus, or over-stimulus, encroaching stimulus, rarely allowed to be implicated or questioned on the matter.
To produce the stimulus seems the ‘willful’ right, but without consideration of other or of relationship to ecology, it is more a drudgery of ego. Unconscious aggressions for and on attention, as over consumption egresses resources. Hijacking’s the vigilance of survival’s ability to attune. As a bearing down on the senses. A forcing of feeling together. What the sense organ can do about it or does about it, it’s possessors task alone.
“Care none of the causal remark, stand up to the bully, move to the country, toughen up, be less vulnerable, Can you take a joke and so on.”
But ceasing production of excess stimulus and reaction to them is an equal responsibility. For all our sense. One unfairly burdened on those who produce just reactions, to feelings or stimulus forced upon them. Whether those reactions are repressions or outbursts, applause or disgust. Similarly why democratic voting a lofty offering of governing bodies; but 51% is no victory of individuals feeling together, as nearly as many feel otherwise.
Often our biggest stimulus producers hide behind social, cultural, military, political, economic or legal dictums to avoid recognition or responsibility for such actions. Where our connection to our minds may be unable to detect chemicals in our food and plastics in our water, our senses do. They respond with inflammation or less energy. Spots or sickness. Take the visual stimulation differences between biological sexes as another example, and the less and less that is appropriate for woman to wear. Or fragrance being unregulated in North America yet in nearly every product. Could there be even bigger sensory assaults occuring by those who’ve no oversight at all and conscious reasons to intend on assault?
Getting permission or being in agreement to feel together, in its most upstanding form, informed. But this takes the ability to sense in all directions. To feel in and outside of self. If our senses are the instruments of measuring information, those with dulled senses would be at a disadvantage of gathering the most information from the environments or spaces they frequent. At a disadvantage for then processing that information into a informed consented choice, that benefits them and those around them. One person like that is a hazard. Imagine billions.
Outside of a help-men-avoid-rape discussion or safe-word situations, agreeing or having permission to feel together is rarely straight forwardly discussed. At any scope. Instead producing similar feelings among us is the behind-the-scenes directive of our medias and yearly events. Tragedies. Awards shows. Terms and conditions and trending hashtags. Pulls on the unconscious by authority, for little else than more authority. To play with these mechanism, and learn what can be done with them. Garnering control of volatility for its own gains and purposes. With histories track record though, perhaps this process better in the hands of the many.
The many though have been notoriously far to slow at acting with integrity on our individual feelings. Change the undeniable constant, and ever more external hyper force, while internally we often struggle to register much of stuff. Stagnant behind social jurisdiction and societal structuring, as seasons change and the sun arcs across the sky daily. While that which would make societies more collectively functional are rarely educated, properly defended or fought for, the information to do so never before as available. Most mental bandwidth though continues to be run by sub and unconscious’, while minds pitter pater along our conscious ruts. Yet, feeling together, regardless of conscious acknowledgement, happens all the time.
Feelings of ‘freedom’ one of these ruts. Especially in the modernized western world. The definition of freedom as a noun is, the power or right to act, speak or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. And that is very much in line with what most people in the United States, a place known for its defensive freedom, believe freedom is. That is the freedom that they celebrate on their Independence Day; lighting foreign made fireworks, putting pets and other highly sensitive creatures across the nation through the same traumas the colonial soldiers endure to win it for them.
That is the freedom of speech they argue about on their social media platforms. A freedom driven by the force of protecting it. But freedom from constriction and freedom of knowing self imposed limit are far from the same. Freedom from an enemy and freedom from fear of attack are different feelings. A deft cosmos aware of such subtlety. And within subtlety, energy knows that as far as actions, speech and thought— control of reactions and intentions, the freest we might ever be. Alway aiming towards an evolving expansion. Pheltons into photons. Choosen energy manifest. A way to ever access the (Ph) of wisdom. Growing fractals that sense their fractal-ing. Whether with our entire bodies or acceptance buttons hit, we must begin to navigate the consent of presence that exists anywhere we find ourselves.
Arousal happens by proximity and is a greater calculation than just distance alone. Societally we corral people by the likelihood they will enact the violence in us. Those who rape and murder, are put in prison but how many of us harbor those intrusive thoughts. How many of us rape ideas or silences, murder marriages or fantasize our own ends with our passive or unconscious behaviors.
The body produces energetic waves of polarity. With or without action. We exsist as a collection of our inner and outer worlds. Auras and magnetic fields, shaped and colored. Two people standing the same distance from you might each feel energetically different. Meaning safety, energetically, can be more that just 6 feet of space.
Theses energies we are constantly collide, lack in our awareness of ours own or another’s reduced the likelihood of proper feeling together. Our lack of informed feeling together, means we lack consent at all, for most of our daily realities. From planned obsolescence to psyops, to resort fees, or laundry exhaust.
A loss of subtle sensing causes most action to revolve around the low grade unconscious vibration of fucking or fucking over. Most unconscious energy, for most human beings lives there. Could we thought continually be avoiding a more unconscious intent: to in someway fuck ourselves? To find that pleasure? Burgeoning fractals, ever attempting to realize a way to reach the creative force in themselves? The inside of us touched? The inside of tis touch? That which is always beyond anything that can be known, sensed en mass? With all the information available to us, you think we’d be on our way.
There is a process in trauma victims and neuro-divergence know as dysregulation. Being emotionally juxtapose to one’s situation. I sense the narrative that we have received through mass communication forms, (printing press, radio, tv onwards) have been ever more designed to produce this effect, mildly in everyone, all the time. Our ability to feel properly affected. Our ability to subtly distinguish, hindered.
Were we to know freedom as a state from dysregulation, intimidation, or social control; from being ever more stressed, stimulated and unrested. Freedoms where we are absent of subjugation to domination without consent or despotic governments in addition to the freedom that is avoiding imprison or enslavement. Were our freedoms truly of access, to time, information and choice, our choices likely different.
Submission or domination are states of being. They are relational and the product of that relational aspect appears in results. I have in fact, never lost a game of air hockey, and following in a natural rhythm my opponents rarely repeat the experience. Outcome domination happens. But it is antithetical to the expanding cyclic quality of existence. It’s a strategy that often fights itself in a war for submitters. It has a limited use life, eventually running out of victims, until there is nothing left to dominate. Submission is usually a choice for survival. Dominance potential would be a far better representation of dominance and submission in an ecology, highlighting the infallible gentleness of bigger rats. And the often crude and ruthless behavior of the puny who seek total control at all.
In human interactions dominance outcomes rear their ugly results everywhere. Democracy hardly productive. The Pareto Distribution an unconsciously rampant mechanism. Essentially voting and efficiency on auto pilot. Who knows what human system distributions could be with conscious attention? Could we then add such effort out of compassionate intentions, we likely change the structure of our social, economic and political realities. Our lives and longevities.
In democracy everybody gets a vote but with consensus every vote would get its intended result.
I have thought in my life, that the interlaced aspects of violence and domination, would be best relegated to sexual relation between consenting partners. Where submission is sought, domination can prove safe. Rather than such fetish subverted, and peppered throughout our social spaces and dark underbellies of our organizations. We’re we able to acknowledge any urges in us, and others; the traumatic roots of such. Test it out, try it on: we could socially and economically provide places where such an urge might be appropriately felt together. Felt enough in an environment of legitimacy that it would curb itself. Heal itself.
The majority of the energetic stuff of the known universe, is dark stuff. Types of matter, energy, pits of density, dominant. But light is the known fastest stuff. Dragging heat and charge and time with it through the darkness. Energy considered mass moving twice that speed. And Sense likely a mass even faster than that. All beings sense or give a sense. Ruminations of birds and schools of fish, marvel with their ability to sense each other. Sense happens inside us where no visible light gets, but there is electricity and heat and movement and energy emanating there. The light we see is far from all the light there is.
To think that inner universe are much different, is shortsighted. As it is with the physical light spectrum, the lightness and light in psyches exist too, looking within allows the dominance of the unconscious dark in our individual and collective lives, to become more known to us, the way the light of our solar system known in the dark of space. The cosmic radiation from traumatic beginnings, measurable for each.
A place to start looking is how the neutral creation in each, recklessly handled by subconsciously driven choices, aiming to get unconscious needs met, ‘consciously.’ In violent, overtly sexual, loud, or greedy ways. Lacking limits and self modulations. We call many of these ways, pleasures or rights. But are they? Or are they a latent survival tactic, from when survival literally meant, you or me? Today, collectively we are much closer to all of us or none of us, in literal space.
All individuals often struggles to see outside their needs. For organizations of any type, incredibly improbable. First little tools exist in these places for examining motives, incentives exist to ignore perverse intents and most use the individual’s struggles wrangling their sense, as excuse for the institutional inabilities. Rarely seeing past the drive for total control. These are the bureaus, and agencies and parties and courts, branches and banks that fear change more than any of us. Because all revolutionary, rebellious energy is a call to change our understanding of survival.
From a single neck to the collective throat. The noose hung around it woven with the fibers of our apathies, stresses, and worries. Improper concerns, thoughtless of other. Or the choices of our causal pleasure and recreation. Those things we toss our consent and time into with below par information, result or satisfaction. These the shared loads of a planetary change. Our subtle understanding of what is due a pause and what more space to thrive, is essential to our survival as a species.
Why do we diversely reproduce other than to better see ourselves? As with fantasy, I have been often told perfection a worthless aim. Yet, I sense that depends on how you see perfect.. sure nothing ever, at any moment, perfect. But could that be the point? Could exsistence be constantly in a state of heading that way? Could all the potential that lay in the opposable thumbs at the end of our limbs, and inside the apparture of our mouths, the complexity of our ideas, be tools towards that aim?
Are the choices we make the immeasurable time and lengths past Planck’s delineation? In a world of specialized animals, could human animal’s generality be their specialty? To be the perfect perfecters of aiming toward perfection? Living fully in the light of ourselves. As cosmic existence does for a brief explosive instant, before trying to understand how, before drifting away from itself enough to forget trying, before trying all over again.
In a landscape of evermore novelty, coming to awareness about what we can do, slow, cease, sense and our sense of these, become increasingly vital. There is a vast, kind and loving ph—a wise sense of light, in every molecular bit of existence. Were we all able to feel together with that first, what beneficial-for-all, could we consent to after?
Until next time. 🤍